Jung: the shadow, the shame, the self.

Every one of us carries a shadow.

Jung used this word to describe the hidden side of our personality, the parts of us we push away or disown. Often these are traits we consider negative, like anger or selfishness but the shadow can also hold qualities we once needed but learned to hide, such as creativity, playfulness or assertiveness.

Jung wrote, “Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is.” The more we bury these parts, the heavier they become, influencing our feelings and choices from the dark.

Projection: the shadow in disguise

We often first meet the shadow through projection. This is when qualities we dislike in ourselves appear magnified in others.

Someone ashamed of their own anger may constantly notice “angry people” around them. A person who cannot bear their own need for closeness may criticise others as too needy.

Jung suggested that projection keeps us from facing ourselves but also acts as a mirror. Our strongest reactions and repeated triggers are rarely random; they often point to the very traits we have hidden away.

Learning to withdraw projections and own them can be liberating. Instead of being ruled by irritation or shame, we gain choice. The arrogance we detested in others may reveal our own need for confidence. The vulnerability we mocked may show us how much we long to be held. By reclaiming these qualities, we soften our judgement of others and recover lost pieces of our humanity.

Shame and the hidden self

Shame is often what keeps the shadow underground. As children we learn which feelings bring love and which bring rejection. Tears might be mocked, anger punished, or sensitivity dismissed. To survive, we exile these parts of ourselves.

Jung called shame a “soul eating emotion” because it convinces us that the hidden parts make us bad or unlovable. By adulthood the shadow often carries the voice of that early criticism, whispering that if we show who we really are, we will not be accepted.

Meeting the shadow in therapy

Jung wrote, “One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” 

Therapy offers a safe space to do just that. In the presence of a therapist who is authentic and compassionate, clients can risk revealing the parts they fear most. What often emerges is not something monstrous, but something deeply human.

A person who has always tried to be “good” may discover their anger contains the energy needed to set boundaries. Someone who has hidden their vulnerability may find it leads to intimacy and trust. By facing what was disowned, people often feel more alive, more colourful, more whole. The very feelings once smothered in shame can become sources of strength.

Towards wholeness

"To confront a person with his shadow is to show him his own light. Anyone who perceives his shadow and his light simultaneously sees himself from two sides and thus gets in the middle.”

This middle ground is the balance of wholeness, where we can hold both flaws and strengths without shame.

The benefits of shadow work are clear:

Self-acceptance deepens as the inner critic softens.

Relationships improve as we project less and empathise more.

Creativity and vitality return as the energy used to repress ourselves is released.

Integrating the shadow is not about becoming perfect, but about reclaiming our full range of being.

In befriending the shadow, we discover we are neither wholly bad nor wholly good, but human. And in that acceptance, we find the quiet strength of the self, whole and unashamed.